Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Where have I been, you asked?

Chained by my leg to a bedpost in the life-sized dollhouse I call home.

Who is my keeper?

Master Destiny. The one, true, overlord. Emilio Estevez.

Emilio took away my Internet privlidges because I chipped a porcelain bowl that he won on an e-bay auction. I'm not so good at cleaning porcelain bowls. So he chained me by my leg to the corner bedpost in the life-sized dollhouse he built for me to live in. He likes to play with dolls. Especially man dolls.

Then he forgot about me. Emilio Estevez got a new toy.

Her name is Veronica. He initially won her over by singing Elvis Costello's "Veronica" to her at an American Idol karaoke night in Los Alamitos. He grew in a Hitler mustache so no one knew it was him. Then he shaved his mustache (and his pubes) and won her over with his powerful love making tactics.

Then he blinded, tortured, raped and eventually killed her. Her mutilated corpse has been at my feet, inside the foyer of my life-sized dollhouse, for a few weeks now.

Then Emilio remembered me, and had me get his dry cleaning for him. He might teach me some acting techniques again, or let me spar with him as he practices Brazillian jiu-jitsu.

But I have computer access again. Which is good, because I get to update you about the unique perspectives of a man who is Emilio Estevez's Manservant. But this is bad, because if I make a typo, Emilio makes me chew on his dried blood.

2 Comments:

At June 27, 2007 at 6:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you fair dinkum?
Too bizarre for the imagination. Some people have too much time in their hands. Yes, you love him but enough is enough. Fuck him off. Your dignity is worth much more. You are a highly intelligent man, sexy and provocative. Escape and become the master...... Take revenge. Fullfill your desires not some one else's. Show some " cojones". xx

 
At September 28, 2008 at 4:32 PM, Anonymous Will Roger said...

Emiliooo! You are surely a strange bird but I really loved Young Guns

 

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